GM Deadline
Today is the deadline for GM's bondholders to swap out $27 billion worth of the company's debt. The debtholders will get a choice of trading their bonds for GM stock or an extra large jar of Vaseline.



North Korea Nukes
The world is responding to the North Korean nuclear test. South Korea is demanding that Kim Jong Il step down. The UN is demanding that North Korea disarm. And the Obama Administration is demanding that the North Koreans use more green nuclear technology.



No Smiling
DMVs in Arkansas, Indiana, Nevada and Virginia have instituted a "no smiles policy" on license pictures to prevent ID fraud. That's because only a con man would have a reason to smile while at the DMV.



NBA Upsets
Orlando leads Cleveland 2 games to 1 and Denver has tied the L.A. Lakers 2 games apiece in their respective playoff series. If the Lakers and the Cavaliers don't both make it to the finals, the NBA has informed the Obama Administration that it will need a bailout.



Gay Marriage Decision
The California Supreme Court will issue its crucial ruling on gay marriage later today... the justices are hoping to avoid any criticism from Perez Hilton.