California Votes
74% of Californians have voted to freeze the pay of legislators when the state is running a deficit... clearly proving that 26% of the voters are legislators.



Fossil Discovery
Scientists are hailing the discovery of a 47-million-year-old fossil which could be a common ancestor of monkeys and humans. Like most older fossils, it was discovered in the U.S. Senate.



B of A Stock Sales
Bank of America has sold $13.5 billion worth of stock in the last few weeks, clearly proving that adult illiteracy is a growing problem worldwide.



Mortgage Monitor
The Obama administration is proposing one single government monitor for the mortgage industry. The way the U.S. banks are run, the only acceptable candidate is McGruff the crime dog.



Bush Cabinet
25% of President George W. Bush's Cabinet members have landed jobs with consulting or lobbying firms. The other 75% are plea bargaining with the Obama administration.