Random Thought: Do you have any idea what this economy is doing to my designer colostomy bag business?



White House Help
President Bush is delighting leaders of the UAW by ordering the U.S. Treasury to extend a bailout loan to the Detroit automakers. Next, the president is expected to pardon Osama bin Laden.


Senate Slams Detroit
The Senate rejected a $14 billion bailout loan for Detroit last night after the UAW refused to take any pay cuts until 2011. Later, the Senate voted itself a pay raise and wnet home for Christmas.

The big 3 automakers could still get the money from the White House, but President Bush isn't budging until someone builds a Hummer that makes tacos.

The UAW insists it wasn't the reason the bailout deal died... and it will provide a spokesman to explain that as soon as he's finished taking his union-mandated 6 hour break.

The possible collapse of the big 3 automakers has several of their supplies on the brink as well. 50% of auto parts makers are already making production cuts, 80% of dealerships are laying off salesmen, and 99% of Detroit-area pimps have been forced to sell their their fur coats.



Shopping Season
Americans are hitting the malls this weekend as there are just 13 days until the end of the Christmas shopping season. But experts are advising consumers to be patient, as there are just 18 days until we kick off the going out of business season.