Gates Calls for Stimulus
Bill Gates wants President-elect Obama to approve a wide-ranging stimulus plan to fix the economy. Obama says he had been working on just such a plan, but he lost all the data when his Vista crashed.



Cruise Ship Attack
The latest Somali pirate attack has come against a U.S. cruise ship. But the pirates were trampled by angry passengers when they got between them and the midnight buffet.



Bratz Pulled
Because of a continuing legal battle, Bratz dolls will soon be pulled from toy store shelves. China will double the poisonous lead amounts to all Barbies to make up for the shortfall.



Atheist Billboards
An atheist group is now setting up a series of huge billboards with anti-religious messages in the Seattle area... because Christmas is the time when most Americans really aren't doing anything connected to religion.



Abortion Gifts
Planned Parenthood is now selling abortion gift certificates on its website. Finally a Christmas gift your teenagers can actually USE!