Jailhouse Decision?
Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich could still make a senate appointment from jail... which explains why the next U.S. Senator from Illinois is going to be a 6-foot 7-inch, 375-pound guy named "Bubba."



New Danger
The bad news is a new report says the economic crisis has made America less prepared to fight off a terror attack. The good news is the terrorists are broke too.



Bailout Deal
If Congress and the White House approves the $15 billion rescue plan for U.S. automakers, experts say the Big 3 will be subjected to much more government oversight... which means Detroit will have to start making cars with more secret compartments to hide bribe money.



Terror Cutbacks
Even the leading terrorist groups are dealing with economic cutbacks. Hamas recently had to reduce its suicide bomber pension plan from 72 virgins to 15 semi-attractive divorcees.



Steroid Test
Steroid investigators have developed the first process that can detect HGH in an athlete's urine. Previously, the only way to be sure someone was using HGH was to check if he was playing for the Yankees.