Bale Questioned
"Batman" star Christian Bale is accused of beating up his own mother and sister at the film's premiere in London. Bale told police they were wearing so much makeup, he mistakenly thought they were the Joker.



Saving Wall Street
The government has swooped in to protect Wall Street brokerages by making it illegal to sell their stock short... freeing the brokerages to continue selling everyone else's stocks short.



Leno Leaving
NBC has announced that Jay Leno will leave the "Tonight Show" next May. That gives him less than 10 months to start being funny.

Leno is rumored to be heading to ABC... which means America's women can stop pretending Jimmy Kimmel is attractive in less than 10 months.



Karadzic Arrested
Alleged war criminal Radovan Karadzic has finally been arrested after being in hiding for more than 10 years. It's not clear what he was doing all those years, but judging by his appearance he clearly spent some time with Al Gore.



Wachovia Loss
Wachovia Bank says it lost $9 billion in the second quarter of this year... but they're retracing their steps and expect it will turn up sooner or later.