NEWSDAY ALERT!! I'm back in today's "Punchlines" column in Newsday and Newsday.com! Here's the link: Newsday




Airline Mergers
Delta and Northwest are reportedly closer to merging, as are United and Continental. The companies would have merged months ago, but their board meetings keep getting postponed because of airline delays.



Credit Card Debt
Congress is looking to do something about the alarming rise on credit card debt… because if there’s anybody who can bring more responsible borrowing and lending practices to this country it’s the U.S. Congress.


Louisville Slugger
Iconic baseball bat maker Louisville Slugger is now selling large numbers of bats to China. The Chinese government says the bats are the best tool for beating political dissidents.


Angelina’s Mission
Angelina Jolie is currently visiting Iraq to help impoverished refugees. If she’s really lucky, she’ll get them some aid and some of the paparazzi who constantly follow her around will get blown up.



Wal-Mart Weeps
Wal-Mart's January sales came in well below forecasts, mostly because all the best shoppers were crushed to death in those door-buster Christmas sales.