IBM Boost
IBM delighted Wall Street with a very strong profit report this morning. Apparently, every other company in America needs more IBM software to help count how much money they're losing.



Mitchell on Roger
Former senator George Mitchell says pitcher Roger Clemens twice refused to talk to him about accusations that he used illegal performance-enhancing drugs. But Mitchell does admit that Clemens did respond by throwing three baseballs and a broken bat at his head.



Slamming Obama
One of Hillary Clinton's top supporters is attacking Barack Obama for his drug use decades ago. He has a point; no one will really need to take illegal drugs until Hillary becomes president.



Huckabee Strategy
Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee is making a strong push for the Evangelical Christian vote in the upcoming South Carolina primary. That seems like a much better strategy than his GOP competitors in South Carolina... who are inexplicably going after the Orthodox Jewish vote.



Police Resignation
South Africa’s police chief has resigned over corruption charges... wait, are you telling me they even have any police in South Africa?