Monday, January 07, 2008

Clemens Denial
Roger Clemens told Mike Wallace on "60 Minutes" last night that he never injected steroids... a claim that would have been a little more believable had he not been sitting on 15 seat cushions during the entire interview.

Wallace asked Clemens, point blank, if he ever took steroids... the same way Wallace confronted Honus Wagner 115 years ago.

Death Penalty Case
The Supreme Court hears arguments today on whether lethal injection is cruel, especially since now, the executed prisoners are required to make a $15 co-pay.

President Re-Elected
Georgian President Mikhail Saakashvilli has won re-election. This, despite the fact that he failed to follow through on a first-term promise to make Georgian names easier to pronounce and spell.

Blaming the Victim
Pakistani President Pervez Musharraf says Benazir Bhutto's assassination was her own fault, because she came back to Pakistan, stood up outside her car, and was born without a bulletproof head.

Hill Blasts Obama
Hillary Clinton is attacking Barack Obama, saying voters don't know much about where he stands on the big issues. The voters do know a lot where Mrs. Clinton stands on the big issues, but it's really hard to keep track of where she's standing from week to week.

Meanwhile, Obama has opened a big lead over Mrs. Clinton in the New Hampshire polls. That's probably because Clinton's best response has been: "But I'm the devil you know!"

Insiders say Hillary Clinton's sagging campaign is expected to send husband Bill into the Obama camp faster than her sagging ass sent him to the White House intern lounge.

NFL Playoffs
Seattle, Jacksonville, San Diego and the New York Giants were all winners in this weekend's first round of the NFL playoffs. Just like the presidential primaries, the winners move on the next round, while the losers end up as annoying analysts on cable TV who never shut up.


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