Thursday, December 20, 2007

Birth Rate Up
The fertility rate among Americans has climbed to its highest level since 1971... thanks mostly Britney and Jamie Lynn Spears.

IRS Delay
Because Congress waited until last night to pass an Alternative Minimum Tax patch, the IRS won't be able to start processing returns until February. To make up for that, most tax agents plan to spend all of January taking candy from babies.

Family Rescued
A father and his three children who spent three days stuck in the snowy California woods, have all been rescued. Apparently, they thought they were waiting in line for one of those "door buster" sales.

Rudy in Hospital
Republican presidential candidate Rudy Giuliani spent last night at a St. Louis hospital with flu-like symptoms. Like everyone else Giuliani spends the night with, all the hospital's doctors and nurses will get free limo service every time they visit New York.

Crazy Candidate
Former Democratic Congresswoman Cynthia McKinney, who slugged a police officer last year, is running for president. And she's already chosen a running mate: Philadelphia anchorwoman Alycia Lane.

No Wise Men?
The Archbishop of Canterbury is dismissing the Christmas story of the Three Wise Men as nothing but "legend." But it's not clear if he said that on theological grounds or just because he hates going to all those damn annoying Christmas pageants.


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