Chrysler's Woes
Chrysler CEO Bob Nardelli says the company is now "operationally bankrupt." That makes things tough for Nardelli, who is really only qualified to lead a company that is morally bankrupt.



Kobe to NY?
Lakers star Kobe Bryant is once again hinting that he would like to be traded to New York. The deal might finally happen this time now that the Knicks can offer 2 sexual harassers and a date rapist to be named later.


More Shows Coming Back
Despite the continuing writers strike, both "The Daily Show" and "The Colbert Report" will return with new shows in January. It suddenly dawned on the shows' producers that you don't really need writers to make fun of politicians.



Clemens Denials
Roger Clemens is repeating his denials of steroids use and plans to be interviewed for a future episode of "60 Minutes"... just as soon as he can find a comfortable enough chair for his pin cushion ass to use for an entire interview.



School Funding
Most U.S. states are significantly boosting kindergarten funding. They'd spend more money on the older schoolkids too, but bulletproof vests are really expensive.



Super Small Bible
Israeli scientists have inscribed the entire Hebrew text of the Jewish Bible onto a space less than half the size of grain of sugar. Such a small object should be a huge challenge for the Palestinian terrorists who will inevitably try to blow it up.