Player Benched
Stanford's 7-foot forward Brook Lopez will not play this season after being ruled academically ineligible. To get back on the court, he'll either have to study harder or transfer to USC.



Israeli Peace Plan
In a concilliatory gesture, the Israeli government is offering to hand over certain parts of Jerusalem to Palestinian control. The Palestinians plan to use that new land as a place to bury all the Israelis they're going to kill.