War Budget Battle
Democrats are considering cutting $20 billion from President Bush's budget request for military operations in Iraq and Afghanistan. The White House is responding by considering cutting two hours out of next year's Academy Award broadcast.


Ahmadinejad to Saudi Arabia
Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is planning a trip to Saudi Arabia for talks on regional stability, energy prices, and to scope out a few targets.


Anna Nicole's Body
Anna Nicole Smith's body is being flown to the Bahamas for burial Friday. If al Qaeda terrorists really want to hurt the American people, they will hijack that plane and crash it into Britney Spears.


Walter Reed Commander Sacked
The General at Walter Reed military hospital has been relieved of command. After years of issuing misleading information and covering up embarrassing facts, the Pentagon decided he was much better off working for Hillary Clinton.


No More Paper Tickets?
The International Air Transport Association wants all airlines to eliminate paper tickers by the end of this year. Maybe that will stop angry travelers from using them to slap JetBlue attendants across the face.