Iranian Power
A new report by a U.S. think tank says Iran's military power is exaggerated and that it does not have the ability to fight the American or Israeli armies. Iran is using this report to justify its continued targeting of American and Israeli civilians.



Ebbers Appeal Denied
The Supreme Court has turned down an appeal from former WorldCom chief Bernard Ebbers, who is serving a 25-year prison sentence for fraud and conspiracy. The court based its decision based on case law, prosecution arguments, and the fact that Ebbers is still richer than all of the justices combined.


Arkansas Conditions
Arkansas Governor Mike Beebe says he's frustrated with the federal government for not declaring a disaster in the tornado-struck southern region of his state. But FEMA officials say they're having a hard time telling the difference between the homes that were hit by the tornado and the one's that weren't.



NAACP Chief Quits
NAACP President Bruce S. Gordon is leaving the organization after just 19 months at the helm, citing clashes with board members. Apparently, Gordon and the board disagreed over what was the best way to insult President Bush.


Hillary Reaction
The Hillary Clinton campaign is jumping on reports that Rudy Giuliani is estranged from both his children. Hillary is boasting that not only does she have good relations with Chelsea, but she is also very close to most of Bill's illegitimate children.


Cheney Thrombosis
Vice President Dick Cheney has just been diagnosed with a blood clot in his leg. Congressional Democrats are expressing their sympathy by voting to have him sent immediately to Walter Reed hospital.