Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Bush on the Floor
President Bush made a surprise visit to the New York Stock Exchange Wednesday. But as soon as he left, the trading floor erupted in sectarian violence.

Document Turnover
Attorney General Alberto Gonzales now says he will finally deliver to Congress secret documents detailing the government's domestic phone-tapping program. Gonzales says the delay in the records turnover was mostly because he couldn't get in touch with a real person at Verizon customer service.

Love on Idol?
Courtney Love says the producers of American Idol have asked her to appear on the show as a guest judge. The show was able to contact her through the pusher she shares with Paula Abdul.

KFed says "NO!"
Kevin Federline has turned down a $25 million divorce settlement from Britney Spears because she is demanding that he also give up custody of their children. He's demanding that Britney take custody of all his other kids too.

Top 10 Facts that Could End Evangelical Support for Israel

10) Israel has no country music radio station

9) Hebrew versions of the "Left Behind" series don't have any pictures

8) Failed NASCAR event through the streets of old Jerusalem saw average speeds of 25 KPH

7) You gotta admit those Hamas dudes blow things up real good

6) Israeli grits taste too much like hummus

5) The Church of the Holy Sepulchre gift shop does not sell cowboy boots

4) Several female members of the Knesset kind of look like the Dixie Chicks

3) There is no Hebrew equivalent to the term "Hee Haw!"

2) Total Israeli donations to Oral Roberts in fiscal 2006 were 2 dollars and 15 cents

1) All those guys with beards and hats are not actually fans of ZZ Top


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