Storm Watch Over
A hurricane watch has been lifted for all of Florida after meteorologists determined that Tropical Storm Ernesto's DNA was not a match for the samples found at the JohnBenet crime scene.

Top 5 Signs Things are Getting Better in New Orleans

5) The number one cause of death is no longer drowning, it's back to being "bad gumbo"... just like usual

4) Crime is down now that all the local and out-of-town thugs realize there's nothing left to steal

3) Getting the Saints back in the Superdome has only cost $100 million of the public's money, not $200 million!

2) Mayor Nagin hasn't said anything crazy in three hours!

1) At least this time, the people of New Orleans know the TV reporters will be gone by the weekend

Bush-Ahmadinejad Debate
Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has challenged President George W. Bush to a live television debate. The winner will be the first person who can correctly pronounce the word "nuclear" in English.

Bush-Ahmadinejad Debate II
Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has challenged President George W. Bush to a live television debate. Most Americans wouldn't know whom to root for.

Bush-Ahmadinejad Debate III
The White House called Iran's offer to debate Bush a "diversion" from international concerns over Iran's nuclear program. Iran calls the White House's refusal to debate a diversion from international concerns over the fact that New Orleans is still in ruins.

Gonzales in Iraq
U.S. Attorney General Alberto Gonzales is in Iraq to meet with American State Department officials, but he's really looking forward to seeing all the former aides to Saddam Hussein who taught him everything he knows about illegal wiretapping.

Penn Prof Busted
L. Scott Ward, a professor at the University of Pennsylvania's Wharton School of Business, has been arrested for the third time in 11 years on child sex charges. One more pedophilia arrest, and he'll be forced to transfer to Yale.