Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Katrina Ruling
A federal judge has ruled that most insurance companies will not have to compensate victims of Hurricane Katrina for flood damage. The White House is hoping the same judge will rule that it didn't have to do anything about the storm either.

NASA Tapes Missing
NASA says it has lost the original tapes of the Apollo 11 moon landing. To make matters worse, all the Hollywood special effects guys who made the tapes in the first place are missing too.

Ford Hospitalized
Former President Gerald Ford is back in the hospital for the third time this year. This time, Ford is vowing to stay in the hospital until they can find someone in America who cares about him.

Ford Hospitalized II
Former President Gerald Ford is back in the hospital for the third time this year. He has now spent more time in intensive care than he did in the White House.

Hooker Ring
Two California men have been arrested on suspicion of running a massive prostitution ring that employed more than 240 women. The only prostitution ring with more employees is the U.S. Congress.

Madonna In Trouble?
German prosecutors could charge Madonna with a crime if she repeats the mock crucifixion scene in her concert in Duesseldorf this weekend. But Madonna only needs to be worried if the scene is accompanied by a cartoon about Muhammad.

Immigrant Populations Rising
New data shows that the nation's immigrant population is rising and newcomers to the U.S. are choosing to live in every part of the country... except in the areas close to Lou Dobbs' house.

Immigrant Populations Rising II
New data shows that every state in the Union has an increasing number of foreign immigrants, except for West Virginia. That's because if millions of suffering Africans, Asians, and Arabs wanted to live with toothless, unwashed, and uneducated people, they could just stay home.

Suggs Trade Voided
Running back Lee Suggs is heading back to Cleveland after he failed his medical exam, voiding a trade to the New York Jets. Team doctors say there was nothing physically wrong with Suggs, he just wasn't mentally ill enough to play for the Jets.

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