HUMOR BLOGGING THE WAR IN ISRAEL, Tuesday August 8th

Israeli Army leaders are now preparing for a major escalation of the ground war in Lebanon. Hezbollah's leaders are responding by checking on hotel availability in Tehran.

The Arab League is rejecting the cease fire deal put together by the U.S. and France. But the League will accept the deal in return for a primetime TV contract and a terrorist to be named later.

The Arab League says it will not accept any cease fire deal until Israel fully withdraws... to Brooklyn.

Israeli police arrested 12 protesters who blocked the entrance to an Israeli air force base today. The protesters suddenly agreed to be taken into custody when given the choice to go to jail or continue their demonstration within range of the Katyusha rockets.

Top 5 Reasons Americans are Upset about the Middle East

5) It's hard to admit the Bush Administration is right about something.. even if it is just one thing

4) The fighting is totally ruining our plans to go to Beirut for Labor Day weekend

3) All this war is keeping Anderson Cooper from more important things like interviewing Angelina Jolie

2) "Mr. Roper" Norman Fell died before he could ever portray Yasser Arafat in a network TV movie

1) Gas is $3.50-a-gallon; we're upset about everything

AND IN OTHER NEWS...

Army Theme Park
The Pentagon is considering building a Army theme park. Tickets will be $15,000 per day and sodas will sell for $1,385.68.

BP's Leaky Pipe
After major leaks were found in BP's Alaskan pipeline, the company is snapping into action by spending millions of dollars on another ad campaign telling people how environmentally friendly it is.

Alaskan Drilling
In response to the BP problems, Congress is again calling for oil drilling in the Alaskan Wildlife Reserve. In response, the local Caribou have joined Islamic Jihad.