Criminals in Transit
Most Americans are still shocked that a sleazy criminal was pampered during an international flight to the United States... but enough about what goes on Air Force One.

Woman Teacher Fired
The First Baptist Church in Watertown, New York has dismissed a female Sunday school teacher after adopting a literal Bible translation that prohibits women from teaching men. The congregation is also changing its name to the First Taliban Church of Watertown.

Party School Rankings
The University of Texas was voted "top party school" again this year. But the designation is really confusing most of the students there who had absolutely no idea UT was actually a school.

Top 5 Boston Red Sox Excuses

5) Most of team still drunk from 2004 World Series celebrations

4) Smell of steak tips grilling outside Fenway just too distracting

3) Still can't get over Johnny Damon without all the hair

2) Theo Epstein does kinda look like that creep they arrested for killing JohnBenet

1) After all, George Steinbrenner is Satan

AOL Chief Axed
AOL announced the resignation of its chief technology officer today, after members of its research staff released hundreds of thousands of its customers’ personal Web search queries. Of course the number one search query was: "How do I cancel AOL?"