Saddam Trial Demand
The chief prosecutor in the trial of Saddam Hussein is now demanding that Saddam get the death penalty... shocking millions of Americans who had no idea the trial was still going on.

Mickelson Comment
After blowing the U.S. Open this weekend, Phil Mickelson is calling himself "an idiot." And to prove it, he's going to spend this weekend motorcycling with Ben Roethlisberger.

Saks Backtrack
Saks Fifth Avenue says it will re-establish its petite women's clothing department, after quietly dropping it several months ago because of poor sales. Actually, they dropped it because all the petite women were eaten by the customers in the plus size department.

Presbyterian Church Boycott
The Presbyterian Church is considering continuing its boycott of Israel-owned businesses... of course, they don't make scotch in Israel, so this is likely to have no effect.

New Trinity
The Presbyterian Church is also considering alternatives to the divine Trinity. From now on, "Father, Son and Holy Spirit" could also be known as "Mother, Child and Womb," "Rock, Redeemer, Friend," or "Father, Son, and Father's New 'Friend' Lance."

Brangelina's Future
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie say that after their natural birth experience with new daughter Shilo, their next child will be adopted. Also, next time they're going to get a kid with its own publicist.