Looking for Hoffa
FBI agents are digging at a Michigan horse farm, looking for the remains of former Teamsters union leader Jimmy Hoffa. Now that the NSA is doing all the wire-tapping in this country, the FBI has plenty of time to catch up on old cases.

Looking for Hoffa II
FBI agents are digging at a Michigan horse farm, looking for the remains of former Teamsters union leader Jimmy Hoffa. It's hard to say what's been missing in Michigan longer, Hoffa's body or the auto industry's profits.

McCartney Separation
Paul McCartney and wife Heather Mills are blaming the media for their separation; Beatle fans are blaming Yoko Ono.

McCartney Separation II
Paul McCartney and wife Heather Mills are blaming the media for their separation. Apparently the tabloids weren't paying enough attention to them.

Condi Adviser
Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice says she will name a senior adviser on anti-Semitism soon. The front-runners are David Duke and Pat Buchanan.

Gonzales History
Attorney General Alberto Gonzales admitted on Tuesday that it is "just not clear" if his Mexican-immigrant grandparents settled in the US legally... but he's having their phones tapped to find out for sure.

Texas Speed Limit
Texas is close to raising the speed limit on two of its interstate highways to 80 MPH. People in Texas are in favor of anything that speeds up their efforts to get out of Texas.

Governors Defiant
Many U.S. governors are unwilling to volunteer National Guard troops to assist with President Bush's plan to fortify the US-Mexico border... especially the governor of Louisiana, who's been waiting for the National Guard to show up since Hurricane Katrina.

Rumsfeld Assurance
Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld assured members of Congress on Wednesday that using thousands of National Guard troops to help secure the U.S. border with Mexico won't distract them from their overall duty to die in Iraq.

European Offer
Iran's President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has rejected a possible European offer of a light-water nuclear reactor, in return for giving up uranium-enrichment programs saying, "Do you think you are dealing with a 4 year-old child to whom you can give some walnuts and chocolates and get gold from him?" But that didn't stop Ahmadinejad from begging the Europeans for some walnuts and chocolates.