New CIA Chief
According to White House sources, President Bush will announce Monday that he's chosen Air Force Gen. Michael Hayden as the next CIA Director. Of course, Hayden's first job will be to fire whoever leaked the story that he was going to be named CIA Director.

Whale Comeback
Marine biologists say the world's whale population is on the rise. But it's not clear if that's due to conservationists or the Bush administration's "abstinence only" sex-ed for whales policy.

Jackson Angry
Michael Jackson is threatening to sue GQ magazine for publishing pictures of a Michael Jackson look-alike in order to humiliate him. GQ's editors are responding by noting that if they really wanted to humiliate him, they could have published real pictures of Michael Jackson.