Harvard Plagiarism
Harvard sophomore Kaavya Viswanathan's plagiarized novel has been pulled from store shelves. Now that she's been exposed as a fraud, Viswanathan has been expelled from the college and made a full professor in Harvard's Middle Eastern Studies Department.

Top 5 Other Suspicious Books by Kaavya Viswanathan

5) Nancy Drew and the Stolen SAT

4) Two Million Little Pieces

3) Harry Potter and the Half-Baked Manuscript

2) The Hindi Goddess of Sweet Valley High

1) Plagiarising for Dummies

Richards Hurt
Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards is being treated for a mild concussion after falling out of a palm tree in Fiji. Apparently, Richards mistook the tree for a tremendous joint.

Richards Hurt II
Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards is being treated for a mild concussion after falling out of a palm tree in Fiji. Doctors say it'll take a few months to tell if Richards has suffered any permanent damage because they have to wait for him to sober up first.

Darfur Rally
Thousands of people joined Hollywood celebrities at a rally Sunday urging the Bush administration to help end genocide in Darfur. Most of the same demonstrators are expected to return to Washington to protest against the Bush administration when it decides to attack Darfur.

Top 5 Things Overheard at the Rally for Darfur

5) "If there's one thing that scares people who rape and kill children; it's a big rally"

4) "There must be 100,000 people here... I guess George Clooney brought all his girlfriends"

3) "I thought this was the rally against the oil companies"

2) "Be careful not to blame the actual murderers; we don't want to be accused of being anti-Arab"

1) "Nobody move, I lost my contact lens!"

FEMA Defended
The White House is resisting calls from the Senate to shutdown FEMA. The Bush administration needs to keep every institution around that makes it look good by comparison.

Bush Makes Jokes
President Bush poked fun at Vice President Cheney at the White House Correspondents' Association dinner Saturday night. As a result, President Bush is expected to be forced to resign by the end of this week.