SUNDAY RADIO ALERT!! You can catch me LIVE on the internet radio station WBCQ tonight and every Sunday night at 9pm! The name of the show is "The Johnny Lightning Show" Here is the link to find out how to download the show: WBCQ Radio

Top 5 Real Reasons Gas Prices are Back Over $3 a Gallon

5) The White House needs to get us mad enough to support another war

4) Apparently, America is responding to terrorism by boycotting walking

3) Not enough people are buying gas station corn nuts these days

2) Someone at a refinery somewhere caught a cold

1) Yeah right, like there's anything you can do about it

Bin Laden Tape
Osama bin Laden's latest taped message is outraging millions of Americans. Once again, he refuses to make it available on iTunes!

Bin Laden Tape II
Bin Laden also says America's refusal to help Hamas is proof of the "crusaders' war against Islam." Actually, the reason why American doesn't support Hamas is those guys never send you a receipt.

Bonds Homers
It took three weeks, but Barry Bonds finally hit his first home run of the season Saturday night. He must be using those new time-release steroids.

New Orleans Runoff
The mayoral race in New Orleans is definitely headed for a runoff. But there are still a lot of questions to be answered... like who the Hell would want to be mayor of New Orleans?

Greek Orthodox Easter
Sunday was Greek Orthodox Easter. The Greek Orthodox celebrate Easter later because they adhere to the lunar calendar, and they like to get all that Easter candy for half price.

BTK Privileges
"BTK Killer" Dennis Rader has won the right to watch television in his cell, but sexually explicit programs would not be allowed. That means he'll only be able to watch PAX TV and the Weather Channel.