Chocolate Bunnies
Easter has some strange customs; like the idea of a bunny that lays chocolate eggs. I can't tell if that's just for the kids or a part of the Bush Administration's "Creationism Science" curriculum.

Top 5 Tips for Cheering Up Donald Rumsfeld

5) A nice new war in Iran

4) Whatever you do, DON'T let him go hunting with Dick Cheney

3) Tell him liver spots are sexy

2) Only let him watch FOX News... oh wait, he already does that!

1) Next time, let's all just let him win at "Risk"

Iranian Donation
The good news for the Palestinians is Iran has promised to give them $50 million. The bad news is the money is radioactive.

Iran Donation II
Iran is donating $50 million to Hamas. All it asks for in return is to use about 20,000 Palestinians to use as targets in their nuclear weapons tests.

Brad and Angelina's Plan
Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are planning to have their baby in Namibia. It's all part of a brilliant plan to disguise the child as a starving African baby, ensuring that the news media will definitely leave the kid alone.

Pope's Message
Pope Benedict XVI prayed for peace in Iraq and the Holy Land in his Easter sermon. Benedict wants the armies of the world to stop fighting each other and start focusing on just killing gays.

Molly is Free!
After a two-week ordeal, New York City firefighters finally freed Molly the cat from inside the wall of a Greenwich Village building. But if they'll do that for just one cat, why can't they do anything for the 700,000 New Yorkers trapped on Staten Island?