Iran's Man of Peace
At a news conference this morning, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said he was a "peaceful man who would not hurt an ant." But that's only because there are no Jewish ants.

Bush Approval
A new poll shows President Bush's approval rating has hit an all-time low of 32%... and that's just among gas station owners.

Top 5 Signs You Have a Low Approval Rating at Home

5) You come home to find your kid playing catch with a replacement dad

4) Your dog doesn't even sniff your crotch anymore

3) The family keeps on going on vacation without you

2) The wife invokes her "veto powers" every night

1) The only people who say you're a good husband and father are on FOX News

CIA Analyst Fired
CIA analyst Mary O. McCarthy has been fired for leaking confidential information to a reporter... actually, the specific charge is leaking confidential information to a reporter not friendly with Dick Cheney.

Lay Blames the Media
In the Enron trial Monday, former CEO Ken Lay blamed the news media for the company's collapse. Well, it looks like the Bush administration has found a new White House spokesman!

Gas Price Probe
President Bush is ordering an investigation into whoever's responsible for gas price gauging. Geez, aren't Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld have enough to worry about these days?

Union Protest
Several New York Transit Union members marched off to jail with President Roger Toussaint Monday. Great, a token booth they won't go to, but a jail cell they will?!?