Top 5 Real Reasons Harriet Miers Dropped Out

5) Wants to be available to defend most of her White House colleagues when they get indicted

4) Needs to find a way to pay for that $50,000 bet she made on the Astros

3) Didn't think she could survive a catfight with Ann Coulter

2) Clarence Thomas kept inviting her over to watch "home movies"

1) If she wanted a job she was totally unqualified for, she'd be the director of FEMA!

Miers' Memos
It appears that Harriet Miers withdrew her nomination because she didn't want to hand over confidential memos she wrote to the President Bush over the years. She especially didn't want the Senate to find out that all the memos had to be written in crayon and illustrated with pictures so the President could understand them.

Rove Perjury?
Sources say Special Prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald may charge Karl Rove with perjury in the CIA leak investigation. But Rove's lawyers argue that it's unfair to charge him with lying to the Grand Jury when telling lies is what he has to do all day at work!

Sheehan Protest
During a protest outside the White House yesterday, Cindy Sheehan dropped down to the ground and pretended to be dead. The demonstration prompted President Bush to say, "hey that's what I do whenever a hurricane's about to hit New Orleans!"

Jeb's Mistake
Florida Governor Jeb Bush blamed himself and the state this week for huge delays at centers distributing supplies to victims of Hurricane Wilma. Bush admitted that he moved so slowly because when he saw all those angry people lining up in Florida, he just assumed they were trying to vote.

Reynolds Collared
Police in New York have arrested Al Reynolds, Star Jones' husband, for driving with a suspended license. Unfortunately for Reynolds, his marriage license is still valid.

Angelina's Wish
Angelina Jolie says she wants to adopt more children. In response to that news, the entire 7th grade class at St. Anthony's school for Boys has put itself up for adoption.