TO MY FANS AT CBS AND NBC IN NEW YORK AND LA:
I notice that you guys check this blog every day. I hope it's clear that I want very much to work with you! I don't know how I can say this more clearly, but PLEASE pass my info on to someone at the comedy programs, (late-night or sit-coms), who may be interested! I'm flattered, but I really need more than flattery right now! Please also just drop a note to jakesjokes@gmail.com if you can.

You can get Jake's Comedy Corner sent to your email! To get Jake's jokes emailed to you directly Monday-Friday, just send a blank email to jakesjokes@gmail.com

Wilma Damage
After two days of getting lashed by Hurricane Wilma, the Mexican resort of Cancun is in ruins... but it still looks better than it does after spring break.

Top 5 New Judith Miller Stories Based on Her "Confidential Sources"

5) "Brooklyn Bridge for Sale... Cheap!"

4) "President Bush Aces SAT'S"

3) "Karl Rove: Ladies Man"

2) "Evidence Shows Saddam Hussein Leaves Toilet Seat Up"

1) "American People Still Respect the New York Times"

U.N. Report on Syria
The bad news for Syria is that a new U.N. report shows its government was involved in the assassination of Lebanese Prime Minister Rafik Hariri. The good news is the report was filed by Judith Miller.

Schumer's Math
Senator Charles Schumer says Supreme Court nominee Harriet Miers doesn't have enough votes to win confirmation in the U.S. Senate. So she's not qualified and she doesn't have enough votes... no wonder President Bush says they have so much in common!

Saints Leaving?
The New Orleans Saints are reportedly planning on leaving the city for good after this season... the team owners realize the people of New Orleans have lived through enough disasters already.

Bloomberg Spending
Even though he has a huge advantage over his Democratic challenger in the polls, New York Mayor Mike Bloomberg has already spent $50 million of his own money on his re-election campaign. It's not clear if Bloomberg wants to get re-elected as mayor, or if he just wants to become the next general manager for the Yankees.

Brazilian Gun Ban Defeated
A staggering 65% of Brazilians voted against a proposed ban on handguns, despite that nation's extremely high rate of gun violence. The only proposal rejected by more Brazilians was a bill to ban topless sunbathing.