Copperfield's Goal
Magician David Copperfield says his next trick will be to impregnate a woman onstage without touching her... sorry David, Tom Cruise just did that with Katie Holmes.

Bush's Boast
Even though it's the strongest such storm on record, Governor Jeb Bush says Florida is ready for Hurricane Wilma. Experts say that statement was a fatal error, as it's only making the storm mad.

Specter's Snipe
Judiciary Committee Chairman Arlen Specter wants Supreme Court nominee Harriet Miers to re-submit her questionnaire to the U.S. Senate. Not because he wasn't happy with her answers, but because she didn't use a no. 2 pencil.

Top 5 Lesser-Known Queries on the Supreme Court Nominee Questionnaire

5) Briefs or Boxers?

4) Do you look good in black?

3) Can you even name one of the guys on the Chicago White Sox?

2) Would you change your mind about Roe v. Wade if Pauly Shore got a woman pregnant?

1) What do you think the Hell is up with that Nancy Grace?

Saddam's Outburst
During his trial Wednesday, Saddam Hussein refused to identify himself and instead asked the judge, "Who in the world are you?" Oh no... wait, that's just what he asked Harriet Miers.

Senate Pay Freeze
The US Senate voted 92 to 6 this week to give up its annual automatic pay raise. The Senators felt this was the right way to go considering the federal budget constraints and the fact that the oil companies are bribing them so much more this year anyway.

No Bust
Police say a second grader in Connecticut, who brought more than a dozen bags of marijuana to school, will not face criminal charges... but only because it was, "really good sh*t!"

Teens and Oral Sex
According to a new study by the Centers for Disease Control, half of the 15 to 19 year-olds in America are having oral sex... the other half still have braces.

Anti-Monogamy
A new group rejecting monogamy is being formed in New York called "Polyamorous NYC"... it's also known by its more famous name: "The Democratic Party."

New School
A finishing school for young men has opened in England. Its official purpose is to help super-rich boys speak English at least well enough to help them avoid becoming another President Bush.