Robertson's Prophecy
Televangelist Pat Robertson believes the recent hurricanes, earthquakes and other natural disasters are a sign of the end of days. Luckily, he also believes the worst can be avoided by donating $19.95 to the 700 Club.

N.O. Police Beating
CNN has broadcast stunning video of three New Orleans cops mercilessly beating a man as they arrested him on Bourbon Street. It's not clear what's more shocking, the brutality of the beating, or the fact that someone was actually arrested on Bourbon Street.

Jacko Wax Museum
Michael Jackson visited Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum in London this weekend. Jackson likes to go there for inspiration before deciding on his next plastic surgery.

Jacko Wax Museum II
Michael Jackson visited Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum in London this weekend. The curators like to have Jackson visit once or twice a month so they can make sure their statue of him is keeping up with his plastic surgeries.

Delphi Effect?
After auto parts maker Delphi declared bankruptcy this week, experts believe GM could soon file for bankruptcy too; shocking millions of Americans who thought GM was already bankrupt.

Madonna Song
Leading Rabbis in Israel say Madonna will be punished in the afterlife for her new pop song mentioning an ancient Jewish mystic. Of course everyone who listens to the song is already being punished in this life.

Sex Poll
Zogby International is releasing the data from its poll cataloging the sexual preferences of 56,000 different U.S. men. The only thing the men had in common is that they had each slept with Paris Hilton.