Subway Threat
The FBI says there's been a specific threat against the New York City subways by members of al Qaeda in Iraq. To improve security, the city is setting up more checkpoints, removing garbage cans from the platforms, and asking all registered sex offenders to frisk any passengers who look suspicious.

Subway Safety
Experts say one good safety precaution for commuter rail systems is to remove all trash cans from station platforms. Luckily, they were all stolen from the New York Subways in 1964.

Top 5 Signs of Danger on a New York City Subway Train

5) Anyone wearing an Angels cap

4) Two panhandlers attempting to work the same car at once

3) Rats who look like they haven't been fed in a few hours

2) Ex-FEMA director Mike Brown yelling, "Am I too late again?"

1) Police officers who actually do something besides talk to each other

Gas Price Effects
Experts say the retailers who are the hardest hit by higher gas prices are the clothing chains. So now we know why people dressed so badly in the 70's.

Fixing the "Fixed"
A Missouri man is making millions by selling prosthetic testicles for dogs that have been neutered. No dogs are actually using the product, but it is very popular among most of America's politicians.

Internet Study
A new study shows that 20% of Americans still have never been online, and thus remain a step or two behind the rest of the country. So the only question is: how did President Bush get the other 31% of America to vote for him?

Fed Choice
President Bush says he'll be keeping an open mind about who will run the Federal Reserve Bank when Alan Greenspan retires. But if he makes this choice the same way he chose Harriet Miers for the Supreme Court, he's most likely to nominate the guy who works the cash register at White House coffee shop.

New Nickel
The 2006 nickel will feature a forward image of Thomas Jefferson, rather than a profile. Of course, it figures that the only forward-looking politician in America has been dead for about 200 years.

Paparazzi Law
California has created a new law forcing paparazzi and their employers to compensate celebrities for assault and other incidents that occur while they try to snap a picture. Experts believe the National Enquirer could soon go bankrupt from paying Lindsay Lohan's car insurance premiums alone.