G8 Reaction
The other G8 countries are promising to do whatever they can to aid Britain in the aftermath of yesterday's bombing. President Bush is lending security personnel, Vladimir Putin is sharing Russian intelligence information, and Jacques Chirac is offering to give away all of his Scottish-prepared meals.

Fantastic Four Reviews
The critics seem mostly confused by the new movie "The Fantastic Four." Reviewers aren't sure how a film featuring a flaming boy in a unitard was only rated PG-13.

Guantanamo Offer
Several news organizations are taking President Bush up on his offer to visit the Guantanamo Bay prison and check on conditions there. The only trouble is once they all get there; the FOX News reporters are the only ones the administration allows to leave.

Spanking Coach
A Staten Island basketball coach has been arrested for spanking players who miss free throws. Phil Jackson tried that with Shaquille O'Neal, but he got a hernia from putting him over his knee.

Scotus Litmus Test
President Bush says he won't require any of his potential Supreme Court nominees to pass a litmus test on abortion or gay marriage. Of course that's only fair since Bush has never passed many tests himself.

Driving Worries
About a third of Americans say they feel less safe driving than they did five years ago. The other two-thirds realize things are actually safer now that President Bush doesn't drive his own cars anymore.

Running of the Bulls
The running of the bulls has begun in the Spanish town of Pamplona. The crowds are smaller this year as most of the world's reckless idiots are busy protesting at the G8 summit.

Prescription Drug Abuse
The number of Americans who admit illegally buying prescription drugs nearly doubled to over 15 million last year... but most of them say they were just getting them for Rush Limbaugh.

Gabor Stroke
Actress Zsa Zsa Gabor has suffered a stroke, but is recovering in a Los Angeles hospital. Doctors are advising Gabor to take it easy for awhile, which means she only plans to get married two or three times in the next six weeks.