NEWSDAY ALERT!!I'm back in the "Punchlines" column in today's Newsday! Here's the link: NEWSDAY

Peyton's Place
Colts quarterback Peyton Manning put on a show this Thanksgiving Day with six touchdown passes as Indianapolis beat the Lions in Detroit, 41-9. Manning was so accurate with his throws, he even hit a few rowdy Detroit fans as they tried to charge the field and start another riot.

Global Warming Strategy
The eight nations with artic territory have agreed to implement serious policies to keep temperatures cool enough to avoid further melting of the polar ice caps. The first measure is to make Martha Stewart their new queen.

A-Rod a Dad
Yankees star Alex Rodriguez is a dad for the first time, as his wife Cynthia gave birth to a baby girl. Looks like A-Rod finally did come through in the clutch!