French SUV's
The French government is considering banning oversized, expensive gas-guzzling SUV's in Paris. The new law will make the streets safer for the oversized, expensive wine-guzzling French people.

Bush Attack Ad
In a new campaign ad blasting John Kerry, the announcer insists that "pessimism never created a job"... a claim that's being bitterly opposed by everyone who sells life insurance.

Lakers Lose
The Detroit Pistons now have a surprising two games to one lead over the Lakers in the NBA Finals. The Pistons' team defense has been so good, Kobe Bryant is hiring them to be his new lawyers.

Libya Hit Squad
Libyan leader Moammar Khadafi is denying reports his country trained a hit squad to kill Saudi leaders. Khadafi did admit however that Libyan commandos did target Dr. Emmet Brown and Marty McFly after they used his nation's small supply of plutonium to build a faulty time machine in 1985.