Kerry Promise
John Kerry is promising that if he's elected President, he will work harder to keep the most dangerous weapons out of the world's most unstable hands. But experts say he already did that by defeating Howard Dean in the primaries.


"Shrek 2" beats "The Day After Tomorrow"
More people chose to lose themselves in a make-believe world of fairies, elves and faraway kingdoms rather than face the horrific effects of global warming. Experts aren't sure who's enjoying this news more, Shrek's creators or the Bush Administration.

Medicare Card
Elderly people can now begin paying for medications with their new Medicare drug discount card, but fewer than a thousand seniors nationwide are expected to use it today. That's because most of them are still saving up to buy enough gas to get to the drugstore.

Mental Illness Study
A new study says that even though the signs of insanity are everywhere on TV and in the news, the U.S. has the highest rate of untreated mental illness. But doctors say they're doing all they can for Al Gore and Howard Dean.