Playboy Lawsuit
A 54-year old former editor at Playboy says he was fired because the magazine wasn't interested in any of its employees once they passed the age of 25. But Playboy insists that's only its policy for models, not the editorial staff.

Chalabi Raid
U.S. troops raided the home of Iraqi Governing Council member Ahmed Chalabi today and called him a "slave." The Pentagon is looking into the incident, and reminding all soldiers that since he's getting paid for his services, Chalabi's proper title is "stooge."

Krispy Kreme Suit
Shareholders of Krispy Kreme Donuts say the company exaggerated its financial reports and are now suing the company. Other things shareholders say they were misled about:

-Sprinkles on donuts not exactly "98% Rat Dropping-Free" like advertising promised

-"Krispy" and "Kreme" not actually spelled with a "K"

-Customers not told eating donuts will make their asses sag faster than company stock price

-Atkins dieters actually encouraged to lick glaze off donuts, put rest back behind the counter

-Damn sugary donuts harder to kick than Heroin