O'Neil Case
The White House is looking to prosecute former Treasury Secretary Paul O'Neil for possibly leaking a secret documents after he said President Bush was "disengaged and uninformed." Memo to the White House: that's not really a secret.

Church Campaign
Boston Archbishop Sean O'Malley is urging Catholic legal professionals to use their profession to defend heterosexual marriage. The lawyers and judges say they'd be happy to help, but they're too busy defending the Church against child molestation cases to do anything else right now.

Dean's Cabinet
Howard Dean is being attacked for never having a Black or Hispanic cabinet member in his 12 years as governor of Vermont. But Dean did hire 3 guys who don't shop at L.L. bean.

Comedy News
A new study shows that more young adults are using late-night comedy shows as their primary vehicle for getting news. CNN is responding to the report by assuring the public that it can't make Paula Zahn any more laughable than she already is.

Wal-Mart Child Labor
Wal-Mart is being investigated for a slew of possible child labor violations. But Wal-Mart is defending the practice, reminding everyone that the kids were actually in management positions, overseeing thousands of illegal aliens.

Health Discovery
Researchers have found a compound that blocks the production of excessive mucus and saliva. While this could lead to better treatments for asthma and bronchitis, it could also mean the end of Major League Baseball.