Terror Alert Raised
With the terror alert level raised to Orange, American citizens are being asked to keep an eye out for anything foreign and suspicious.
But for most Americans, the only foreign and suspicious things they see this time of year are the $29 DVD players at Wal-Mart.

Bruce Pardoned
The late comedian Lenny Bruce received a posthumous pardon today after being convicted for using dozens of profane words in his act at a Greenwich Village nightclub in 1964. Now the only thing that's considered obscene speech in The Village is telling people you're a Republican.