NEWSDAY ALERT!!! I have TWO jokes in today's "Punchlines" segment. Here's the link Newsday


Bush MRI
President Bush is getting an MRI today to check on a persistent pain in both his knees. Of course the much more annoying pain in his ass was taken care of outside Tkirit last weekend.

Radio Warnings
The U.S. Department of Transportation is testing a new radio system in cars that would be used to warn motorists when they're driving dangerously. Of course New York City divers already get a special warning when they're doing something wrong - it's called "The Finger."