Rush Resigns
Conservative commentator Rush Limbaugh resigned from ESPN after sparking outrage by saying Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb is overrated because he's Black. In his resignation letter, Limbaugh said he had nothing against Blacks and he emphasized that the attack was directed at the media which, he reminded everyone, is controlled by the Jews.

Rush's Rostrum
Top comments Rush Limbaugh would have made on this weekend's NFL Countdown show:

-Washington Redskins would start playing even better if they changed their name to the "DC Drunken Savages"

-Overpaid players on the Oakland Raiders will start producing as soon as they get another upper class tax cut

-New York Giants are starting this season poorly because all their Jewish fans are too busy celebrating the High Holidays

-Black NFL players who got into colleges on Affirmative Action should be forced to buy all rejected White students DirecTV

-New York Jets fans should be given government vouchers to buy season tickets for another team

Limbaugh Loaded
Limbaugh is also being investigated on charges he regularly bought prescription painkillers from an illegal market drug ring. Limbaugh's former housekeeper tells cops he took hundreds of little blue and little white pills every week, but refused to take the little black ones because he said they were "lazy and didn't work fast enough."