Dying to Collect
A report shows that the government is paying $100 million a year in pensions to dead federal workers. Although in fairness, it should be pointed out that the dead employees are doing a lot more work than when they were alive.


Dying to Collect II
A report shows that the government is paying $100 million a year in pensions to dead federal workers. But since they are buried in the ground, the Obama administration considers them as having "green jobs."



Pakistan Denial
Pakistan is strongly denying allegations that say its aided the attack on the US embassy in Kabul last week. It didn't "aid" the attack, Pakistan carried out the attack!



Obama Office Trashed
President Obama's campaign offices in uber liberal West Los Angeles were vandalized last night. The attack came in response to rumors that Obama would not support a tax credit for watching "Glee!"



No Chrysler Union Deal
Chrysler is refusing to give the UAW the same sweetheart deal the union just got from GM. Now that Chrysler is Italian-owned, it turns out management has better mob ties than labor!





September 23rd

1642: First commencement exercises occur at Harvard College... marking the first official group of clueless snobs in America.


1932: The Kingdom of Hejaz and Nejd is renamed the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia. It originally comes in high and low octane versions.


1988: José Canseco of the Oakland Athletics becomes the first member of the 40-40 club. That's 40 homers, 40 stolen bases, and 40 shots of steroids in one season.