No Parole
"Manson Family" member Susan Atkins has been denied parole by California despite being terminally ill with brain cancer. The state actually did want to release her, but it can't afford to send her to Libya.



Obama Speech
President Obama will address a special session of Congress next week in hopes of selling health care reform. By jamming 535 people into one room and making them sit for 90 minutes, it will be a perfect preview of what government-run health care will really be like!



Kennedy Book
Ted Kennedy's 532-page memoir will go on sale September 14th. That's 32 pages of personal history, and 500 pages of mixed drink recipes.



Hudson Rule Changes
The F.A.A. says it's planning to change its Hudson River Flight Rules. Despite the heavy costs involved, from now on private planes will NOT be allowed to crash into helicopters.



Harnessing Energy
A New Jersey Burger King franchise is installing a speed bump designed to harness the kinetic energy produced by the hundreds of cars that pass through the drive-thru daily. But it will get even more energy by installing a machine that grabs the natural gas produced in its bathrooms every hour.







September 3rd

1803: English scientist John Dalton started using symbols to represent the atoms of different elements, thus dooming high school chemistry students for centuries to come.

1935: Sir Malcolm Campbell drives his car 304.3 miles per hour in Utah, getting the world record, international attention, and 10 points on his license.


1995: eBay founded. So you've had no excuse for that cluttered attic for 14 years now, and you still haven't done anything about it!