Iraq U.
Several Iraqi universities are still holding classes, despite the bombs going off daily near the classrooms. Actually, this is not so much of a distraction because most of the students are studying to be bombers.


Longer Tours
The Pentagon has announced that active duty troops in Iraq will have their tours of duty extended by three months... mostly because keeping our hard-working soldiers out of the U.S. until this idiotic Imus controversy blows over is the least the Defense Department could do.



Imus Sponsors
As a result of Don Imus calling the Rutgers women's basketball team a "bunch of nappy headed ho's," his radio show is losing major sponsors like Procter and Gamble and Staples. However, he is picking up some new advertisers... like Afro Sheen.


Citi Layoffs
Citigroup announced today it is cutting 17,000 workers... which is hard to believe, because I haven't seen a human being working at a Citibank in 15 years.



Citi Layoffs II
Citigroup announced today it is cutting 17,000 workers. So I guess we're going to be seeing a lot of out-of-work ATM's on the streets.



Iraqi Insurgents in Iran
The Pentagon says Iraqi insurgents are being trained in Iran. But that's just for military training... for their anti-American and anti-Jewish training, they're just reading the New York Times.


Duke Players Cleared
Prosecutors on Wednesday decided to drop all charges against the three Duke lacrosse players accused 13-months ago of sexually assaulting a stripper at a team party. Well, that's swift justice for you... I think it took the Catholic Church less time to clear the Jews for supposedly killing Jesus.


Woman Town
Chinese officials have created the first "Woman Town," where women will make all the decisions and unruly men face discipline... I guess all the local S&M parlors in Beijing are getting too crowded.



CBS Producer Fired
A CBS News producer was fired and the network apologized after a Katie Couric video essay on libraries was found to be plagiarized from the Wall Street Journal. CBS News management is making it absolutely clear that it's only okay for its employees to plagiarize the New York Times.