Top 5 Things You Didn't Want to Find While Cleaning for Passover

5) Petrified Cheerios

4) Uncle Seymour's old, ratty handkerchief

3) 6 cans of the same kosher-for-Passover chocolate syrup you just sent your husband to buy at the store because you thought you ran out

2) Uncle Seymour

1) The long-lost Afikomen from the 1977 Seder



"Confession" Video
Iran is airing new video of the captured British sailors "admitting" they were in Iranian waters when they were seized. Later in the video, all the sailors also admit to being Jews who use Muslim blood to bake matzoh.


UN Report
A new United Nations report says climate change is putting much of the animal kingdom on the "highway to extinction." The U.N. plans to respond by continuing to allow al Qaeda to put mankind on the highway to extinction too.



Iraq Safety
Senator John McCain says Iraq is getting safer. But he won't be satisfied until it's safe enough to hold a $350-a-plate campaign fundraiser in downtown Baghdad.



Earhart Clues
70 years after her disappearance, clues are still turning up in the search for pioneering aviator Amelia Earhart. The latest evidence shows she likely got lost somewhere on the baggage claim carousel at O'Hare airport.



Clinton Cash
Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton’s presidential primary campaign has raised $26 million during the first quarter of 2007... which is considerably more money than she could raise if she ever told the truth.



Olmert Invitation
Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert has invited Arab leaders to a regional peace conference. The Arab leaders say they're looking forward to meeting Olmert face-to-face... because that would make it easier to hold him hostage.