New Fashion Line
Sarah Jessica Parker is launching a new fashion company that will promote cheap women's clothing. That's opposed to her work in "Sex in the City," which just promoted cheap women.


Airport Nightmare
As many as 100,000 U.S. Airways passengers are still stranded in airports on the East Coast after Friday's ice storm. The good news is most of them are now having a wild slumber party with the stranded passengers from JetBlue.


Israel Nixes Palestinian Talks
Israel is refusing to negotiate with the new Hamas-Fatah coalition government, because the Palestinians still haven't recognized Israel's right to exist. Luckily for America's lawyers, this is not a pre-condition for divorce negotiations.


Blockbuster Woes
Blockbuster's quarterly profit plunged 28%, but company CEO John Antioco is still demanding more than the $2.3 million in bonus payments he's already received this year. Antioco insists he needs that extra money so he can buy more shares of Netflix.


Teen Dangers
A national survey of teenage workers found that about half were exposed to serious hazards on the job. And those were just the kids who admitted to eating the fries during their breaks at McDonald's.


Gates Wants Help
Bill Gates wants Congress to expand the number of foreign engineers and scientists allowed to work in the United States. Gates needs this to happen so he can continue blaming all the bugs in the new Vista operating system on, "that Foreign guy."