NCAA Final
The NCAA College Men's college basketball championship game tonight pits Ohio State against defending champ Florida. Ohio State is of course the sentimental favorite, since Buckeye star Greg Oden is celebrating his 50th birthday tomorrow.


Scotty's Ashes
The ashes of James Doohan, who played "Scotty" on the original "Star Trek" TV series, have been loaded into a rocket and will be released into space. Judging by Doohan's weight at the time of his death, there's a good chance his ashes will fill up that hole in the ozone layer in a jiffy!


New Maytag Man
Actor Clay Jackson has beaten out 1,500 other applicants and will appear as the new "Maytag Repair Man," in TV and print ads. Jackson won the job because just like the rest of Maytag's employees, he lives in China.


Tribune Deal
Tribune Co., the owner of the Chicago Tribune and the Los Angeles Times, has accepted a buyout offer from real estate investor Sam Zell in a deal valued at about $8 billion. That's a billion dollar per reader.

Now Zell can boost the value of his real estate holdings by getting rid of all the unread copies of the Trib and the Times that are lying around most of his properties.


Sam Zell says part of his deal to buy Tribune Co. includes a plan to sell the Chicago Cubs. It's not clear who will buy the team, since most of America's self-loathing and super-rich masochists have already spent all their money supporting the various Democratic candidates for president.