O.J. Special Canceled
FOX has decided to cancel the two-hour O.J. Simpson book and television special "If I Did It." Viewers who want to see a despicable liar and thug on FOX will have to stick to watching Bill O'Reilly.

Regan Admission
O.J. book publisher Judith Regan says she became obsessed with Simpson's story because she was once a victim of domestic abuse herself. Oh, and if we don't start feeling sorry for Regan right now, she's going to beat the crap out of us.

Regan Admission II
O.J. book publisher Judith Regan says she became obsessed with Simpson's story because she was once a victim of domestic abuse herself. Whoever that man is, he is now a hero to millions of Americans.

Regan Admission III
O.J. book publisher Judith Regan says she became obsessed with Simpson's story because she was once a victim of domestic abuse herself. Whoever that man is, he apparently taught Regan everything she knows about beating up her employees.

New Beatles Album
A new CD is in stores featuring several Beatles hits mixed together at once. In other words, now you can feel what it was like for fans to hear their songs back in the 60's without actually getting stoned.

Goya Found
The F.B.I. has recovered a Goya painting that was stolen from a truck while on its way to the Guggenheim Museum earlier this month. Agents found the painting on display on West 58th Street along with several fake Rolex watches and Channel purses.

Kramer Loses It
Former "Seinfeld" co-star Michael Richards flew into an onstage racist tirade at an L.A. comedy club last weekend. It was shocking and offensive, but not as shocking and offensive as the failed sitcoms every ex-Seinfeld cast member has starred in since 1999.