Mars Probe Missing
The bad news is NASA has lost contact with its Mars space probe. The REALLY bad news is the 10-year-old probe was last seen with Mark Foley and Michael Jackson.

Top 5 Things You'll See at the Airport this Thanksgiving

5) A shady dude at the departure gate offering to sell you back your just-confiscated bottle of shampoo for $50

4) Lots of returning service men and women from Iraq looking for John Kerry

3) Thousands of people crowding in the terminal thinking it's the line for the PlayStation 3

2) O.J. Simpson trying to sell his latest manuscript to the airport bookstore

1) Dozens of ex-Republican Congressmen on their way home... for good

Bush Poll
A new poll finds that most Americans prefer former President George H.W. Bush, to the current President Bush... but mostly because the elder Bush is closer to being dead.

Economic Forecast
The White House is lowering its forecast for economic growth this year and next... not because of any real data, just because they don't give a damn anymore.

Imams Taken Off Plane
Six Muslim Imams were removed from a US Airways flight this week... not for any security reasons, it's just because the airline wanted to merge them with 5 Rabbis who were flying on Delta.

Richards Talk
Hollywood is still buzzing about ex-Seinfeld star Michael Richards' racist outburst on stage. Mel Gibson was the most excited about it until he found out Richards isn't Jewish.