Gitmo Decision
The Supreme Court has struck down military tribunals for detainees at Guantanamo Bay prison. So from now on, we're just going to shoot them.

Gitmo Decision II
The Supreme Court has struck down military tribunals for detainees at Guantanamo Bay prison, saying they must have real trials in American courts. Because if there's one thing we needed, it was more work for civilian lawyers.

Top 5 Gitmo Tribunal Alternatives

5) Flip a coin; heads you're executed, tails we execute you and notify your family

4) Give them real American lawyers... and make them pay their real fees

3) Determine guilt or innocence with marathon sessions of "Rock, Paper, Scissor"

2) Two words: Nancy Grace

1) Send them to a fate much worse than death: traffic court

NYC Hurricane Preps
If a major hurricane hits New York, the city says it will not expect any help from the federal government... at least not until New Yorkers start voting for more Republicans.

Scrushy Convicted
Former HealthSouth CEO Richard Scrushy was convicted Thursday of a bribery scheme involving former Alabama Governor Don Siegelman. Scrushy's fatal mistake was forgetting that it's only legal to bribe Republicans.

Scrushy Convicted II
After being acquitted of massive accounting fraud, former HealthSouth CEO Richard Scrushy was convicted Thursday of a bribery scheme involving former Alabama Governor Don Siegelman. The message is clear: it's okay to steal from the shareholders, but not okay to try to give any of that money to a Democrat.