Devil's Night
The night before Halloween is always chaotic in Detroit. Every year, hundreds of residents set fire to buildings, cars, and Lions season tickets.

Top 5 Scooter Libby Excuses

5) He was led astray by Judith Miller's hypnotic beauty

4) Pretty sure that the name "Scooter" will make him very popular in prison

3) He was led astray by Robert Novak's hypnotic beauty

2) Let's just say that leak was worth about 10 million Halliburton stock options

1) Who needs an excuse? He's going to get pardoned anyway!

White House Shakeup?
In light of the Scooter Libby indictment, the Senate Democratic leader is calling for a staff shakeup at the White House. The Bush Administration is taking the recommendation from Harry Reid about as seriously as if it were made by Tara Reid.

Giants Win for Mara
In an emotional game following the death of team owner Wellington Mara, the New York Giants shut out the Washington Redskins, 36-0 yesterday. 10 other NFL team owners now plan to fake their own deaths in time for the playoffs.

Fan on the Field
Late in yesterday's Packers-Bengals game in Cincinnati, a fan dashed onto the field and stripped the ball from Green Bay QB Brett Favre. After the incident the fan was arrested, but he was also signed to a 2-year contract by the Minnesota Vikings.

Air Force Falls
Air Forced was routed by BYU, 62-41, in college football action Saturday. Giving his take on BYU's awesome offensive performance, Air Force coach Fisher DeBerry explained that "they just did a great job on 3rd down conversions, but like I always say, those Mormon boys are the best at conversions."

"Prime" Plot
Uma Thurman stars in a new movie about a Manhattan woman facing a romantic dilemma when she learns she's dating her psychiatrist's son. Of course, most New Yorkers who learn they're dating their shrink's relatives would simply ask for a discount.

Bad Billboards
Paramount Pictures is removing some billboards promoting the upcoming 50 Cent film "Get Rich or Die Tryin'" after community activists complained they promoted gun violence. Apparently, the movie is so bad, most African-Americans audience members are shooting themselves in the theater.